Fuck The CAS

Why the fuck do sports-lovers in chennai have to suffer because of a mucked up system aka The CAS (set-top boxes on top of the idiot boxes) started by the fascists and continued by the ruling appeasers?
I've missed all the ashes matches till date and this happens to be the best series in recent years.
And i can't watch my mates jumping taking swipes from giant trees because we don't get Discovery, Nat Geo or Animal Planet here. The solution is to go for the next best alternative. I make strange faces before my bathroom mirror and get entertained and informed at the same time. I've started trying to make the navarasas or nine expressions, thereby mimicking or simulating the entire evolutionary process as envisaged by Darwin. If you don't see the connection between the navarasas and evolution, a reading of Charles Darwin's works might ot might not help!

So for now, its either "Indiya tholaikkaatchiyil mudanmurayaaga thiraikku vandhu sila naatkale odiya putham pudhiya thirai padam" or "Ungalukku kalyanam aiducha?" And without waiting for the answer comes the next question "Endha paattu venum ungalukku?"
The News channels come as a respite usually, though i can't stand watching Srinivasan Jain stuttering and stammering for more than a nanosecond. He must have connections at high places because anybody who can't speak more than 2-3 words without pausing isn't fit to be an anchor, even by Sun TV's abysmal standards, let alone NDTV's. There's a guy called Jujhar Singh who has a sub-woofer fixed to his mouth. Another French-bearded bloke engages in conversation with faceless viewers instead of reading out the news. Zakka Jacob is probably the best apart from Tracy (surprisingly hot for a Chink).....

I shall get CAS, after all. who said the customer is king????