Chennai's Chastity Belt
At this point in time, we would have thought good old Victorian Prudishness was history and belonged rightfully in museums. How wrong would we be to assume such things in wishful thinking. The Victorian Prudes are alive and kicking (ass) amongst us. Afghanistan? Saudi Arabia? Of course, that's been done to death but i'm talking about our own backyard. No, not my birthplace of Pudukkottai. Not any rural hamlet. I'm talking about Cosmopolitan Chennai. Singara Chennai.
I'm not a disco-going type but i have nothing against couples smooching away to dopamine gratification in a disco or a pub. If someone has a problem with that, he/she is either jealous or impotent. Wait a minute, I think i'm a pervert to think there's nothing wrong in THE ACT. Coming to think of it, he might be a moral, right-thinking, cultured and cosmopolitan Chennai Moral Police Officer. He might or might not be holding office in the police department. For all you know, "he" might actually be a SHE, belonging to some mAdhar sangam. Veerappan's can wait for decades. The armed robberies ravaging the suburbs can always be handled without any hurry. Traffic jams and accidents are no major problems. S.J Suryah's soft-porn candies can be watched with family (from infants to grampa). The pros and cons of Sethu Samuthiram is no proper fodder for our vernacular media. An average moral, chaste Thamizhan or Thamizhachi is a prototype of German-engineered fidelity with finesse. He/she leadeth the way by the light of their cultural elevation. Follow or fall aside. Cultural Chennai doesn't want you degenerates here, spoiling the toils of our ancestors who have talked the cultural talk and walked the moral walk. If you smooch (be it a dry one or a wet one) your spouse in a profane and impure place like a discotheque, you might in fact be sowing and spreading the seeds of a cultural virus threatening to blow the fabric of Thamizhar panbaadu away. The thamizhar panbaadu has been able to hold its own inspite of a procession of culturally and morally elevated directors showing thoroughbred Thamizh heroines gyrating their anteriors and posteriors, hardcore Thamizh heroes spinning tops in the heroines' soft and rounded bellies,imported heroines holding laddooos next to their boobies, unlucky C-grade heroines biting their lips in the torn screens in a "bit" reel in parangimalai Jyothi, the likes of which are patronized by culturally elevated men in lungis who use the theatres as their release-vents and culturally elevated schoolboys who are too smart to be attending classes.
Oh Lord of Conservation Of Thamizh Panbaadu, i pray to thee to come down heavily with vengeance on these immoral mortals who pollute our already elevated and time-tested culture with their independent behavior, their dances and their smooches!
Amen!